If We Promise to Be Good

He shoots, he scores
I want to be a famous soccer player when I grow up
How I wish I could see that

His imagination is so incredible.
I am going to do art 2 hours every day when I am a famous artist
Start now so I can see it

The school called, he kicked someone
One day suspension
Mommy I love our special days at home together

He is the sweetest, most helpful child
Quick, lock yourself in the bathroom until your brother calms down
At least he has a safe place to be himself they say

How much of this is nature
How much is this fucking disease
It took my hair for a while
It took my breasts for ever
It is taking their childhood

Are you being good and helping your mom so she gets better
Mommy, if we promise to be good can you come home from the hospital

I don’t want you to die, promise you wont die
I cant promise that

It’s not fair that you got cancer
No, it’s not fair
It’s not fair that I have cancer
It’s not fair that you have to suffer too
The cancer is in me but we all suffer

Hello World

Welcome to my new and shiny blog.  I have great plans for this blog, many of which will probably never happen. At the very least though, it will be working through my thoughts, feelings and life as navigate the world of Metastatic Breast Cancer (MBC).

You’re probably wondering about the name, or maybe not, but I’m going to tell you anyway. Since my original cancer diagnosis in May 2015, I have had people coming out the woodwork telling me everything they know about cancer, people they know with who had cancer (some dead), how to cure cancer, how to not cure cancer, how to eat and well, you get idea. Except for those who are peddling “cures for cash” most mean well. The problem is that there not all they share is true. There is some truth, but it’s mixed in with lies. I doubt my friends are misleading to me intentionally, but somewhere along the way, it became a lie. So for every piece of information and advice, I have to sift through, follow up and research. Along the way it started to feel like the game of “Two Truths and a Lie”, the cancer version. And a blog name was born.

Sorry for a boring first post. I can’t promise it will all be exciting. I can’t promise much of anything except to try my best.